hi! nice blog.

Since ur are blogging China I d like to recommend u my blog at blogger.com and sulekha.com, pls enjoy them. btw Im a Chinese student.

Oh Chindia-things about China and India
http://chinaindia.sulekha.com

What's on China- What China looks in an ordinary Chinese student's eyes
http://chinesevan.blogspot.com
 

Report AbuseReply

It is true that because of social taboos and because of being less liberated, Indian women don't have the chance to smoke and drink as freely as men. Am I glad of that!I don't have to sniff suspiciously or search for cigarette stubs on entering my daughter's room. Like all things, being less liberated also has its advantages. Society in the west is built around individuals, in India, it is around families, which is definitely better for bringing up children. But like all things, it also has its disadvantages.

Divorce, till now is less common in India, not only because women are less liberated but mostly because Indians give lots of importance to marriage. Marriage is almost as enevitable as birth and death. Even men remain bound in unhappy marriages. Most people don't even think of divorce. But of course, this is changing.

Report AbuseReply

Drinking is a personal choice. And not just "rowdy men" drink, majority of people drink around the world. About getting drunk, western women don't drink because they want to prove themselves equal to men. If some western women happen to read about your opinion on why they get drunk, I assure you they will find it quite amusing.
They get drunk because they want and who are the men or anybody else whether they are allowed to get drunk or not. (Just that they are not allowed to drive after that.. :-))

This is so true..:)

Actually we indian women have diluted the concept of equality with the concept of culture and our own freedom to be what we are..such a profound thought.

Report AbuseReply

Hi Nita_jr,

I don't think western women misunderstood feminism because they were the one who started it by asserting themselves. It's like saying Einstein misunderstood theory of relativity.

1. Drinking is a personal choice. And not just "rowdy men" drink, majority of people drink around the world. About getting drunk, western women don't drink because they want to prove themselves equal to men. If some western women happen to read about your opinion on why they get drunk, I assure you they will find it quite amusing.
They get drunk because they want and who are the men or anybody else whether they are allowed to get drunk or not. (Just that they are not allowed to drive after that.. :-))
<<< Getting drunk can have very different repercussions for women. For a single woman, she might get raped/assaulted if she gets drunk and someone can easily take advantage of her in her inebriated state.  For pregnant women, there are high chances of the baby being born with fetal alcohol syndrome if the pregnant woman has even a little bit of alcohol during pregnany. And  if you are used to drinking as a recreational activity for so many years, its gonna be hard to give it up completely during pregnancy. Also it has proven scientifically that after a while, drinking the same amount of alcohol does not give u the same buzz, so you need to drink more to get high. And it has also been proven drinking damages the nervous system connections over time. Thats why more people in the west have Alzheimer's than people in India. Also drinking usually progresses from beer, and then to hard liquor and then even drugs if available. Do u know how common drugs like Ecstacy have become in the pubs?

Report AbuseReply

Hi Nita_jr,

I don't think western women misunderstood feminism because they were the one who started it by asserting themselves. It's like saying Einstein misunderstood theory of relativity.

1. Drinking is a personal choice. And not just "rowdy men" drink, majority of people drink around the world. About getting drunk, western women don't drink because they want to prove themselves equal to men. If some western women happen to read about your opinion on why they get drunk, I assure you they will find it quite amusing.
They get drunk because they want and who are the men or anybody else whether they are allowed to get drunk or not. (Just that they are not allowed to drive after that.. :-))

2. "Sleeping around":
In contrast to India, modern civilizations are at ease with sexual attractions and dating.
In western countries, you don't marry by looking at whether the person has a green card/enough salary/beauty/etc. and making the BIG decision without knowing the person inside-out. (Why is it so hard for Inadian to understand that marriage is a big decision and you should not marry unless you know the person fully.)
First they become friends and go out with each other and gradually assess their feelings about each other. And then if they realize this person is not for me, they break up else they continue. And after long long time, if they are ready for the commitment and feel that they should spend life with each other, then they get married.
They consider sex as a natural culmination of their attraction towards each other and not like "end of their virginity" (as if virginity is something to be celebrated). Virginity there means nobody found that person attractive enough to sleep with him.


And just because Indians are not as backward as middle east countries and not as forward as western countries, does not make them right. It just means that we are yet to grow up when it comes to sexuality.

Report AbuseReply

Quite a lot of responsibility lies on the shoulders of the home maker too. From the first, she should assert herself. In some situations, respect has to be taken, not asked for. After all, if she doesn't respect herself, how can she expect respect from her children?Or from her spouse?

Report AbuseReply

Harish,

Interesting subject. Your article made me to take a look at my own home and the women folks like Mom, Sis, Auntys, Grandma, etc.

They may not have earned money, but surely with great sacrifice contributed the family's welfare.

How can we improve the quality of our younger females lives and thats what is important by women's liberation.

Joseph

Report AbuseReply

I am all for women's liberation but going for feminism the western way is not the solution IMO. Western women have misunderstood feminism in the sense that they equate behaving like rowdy men as feminism. If a rowdy man get drunk and if a woman does the same thing, does that make her his equal? Or if cheap men sleep around, and a woman does the same thing, it does not make her his equal either. Because inherently women are different than men in their physical biology and their emotional needs. Western women have taken feminism to the other extreme in which case they have become selfish and only think of the immediate pleasures and not of the larger picture in terms of family and society. And thats why the divorce rate is so high and ultimately the kids, who are the future generation, are the losers in this whole game. And thats why the birth rate has decreased in the western world b/c there is no stability and security for the family unit.  And the other extreme is the Islamic women, who have to hide in burkhas and have no rights etc. And surely the Islamic pop. is increasing by leaps and bounds b/c women are not given the opportunity to study and progress in their career. I think Indian women should seek a middleground, where in they use education and knowledge to become the intellectual equal of men but still retaining their essential feminity and not behaving like rowdy men. That is not feminism at all.

Report AbuseReply

Hi Harish,


Nice article. As you said, it will take long, especially in India and likes, before women achieve emancipation.

I believe financial emancipation is the first step and then the cultural emancipation.
To think of it, the situation is full of contradiction because never before in the human history, time has been so ripe for women to assert themselves.

1. Financial emacipation: More and more jobs are now based on mental skills that require either sheer analytical intelligence (engineers, etc) or emotional intellgence (managers, etc).
Studies conducted show that there is no clear winner when it comes to analytical intelligence, but in case of emotional inteligence, women win hands-down. So, never before, women have it so easy to achieve financial emancipation.

2. Cultural emacipation: With advent of cable TV, internet, and more and more interaction with western world either directly or indirectly in the jobs, the walls imposed by the Indian culture on women are slowly breaking down.
It's not that just women's mentality is changing, but also men's. So, again, situation is quite favourable.

But, I think the contradiction is: women themselves. And this is true even in the western world.

1. Generally women are not very ambitious on job front. They tend to marry higher as well and tend to care more about the family than theit careers.
It seems like somewhere in their psyche, they love to be dominated by men.

2. Also, I have seen that women at higher positions don't like to help women at lower positions.

But even if in India, if women achieve the similar emancipation as that in the west, it will be a great achievement.

Report AbuseReply

And most often women going to work actually go only to take care of the family expenses, finance those home loans, pay credit card bills including husband's cards, and save for that once in a year travel plans.

-----I  know this is true in some cases.. Any awards/rewards she gets from work are also put into the "general basket". 
After some frustration if she tries anything smart like separation.. there will be many "women" who come to her aid by saying oh! dear .. my husband gambled on stock market too.. but we need to be mothers and need to be there for kids.. blah blah.. ( kids --  included is husband (never want to grow up ) too .)

coming to India,  in many cases all those maids, farm workers, day labourers are also working for the family and supporting gambling , drinking and other pleasures of their husbands as they drag their kids around..
They have been doing this without a "working woman" status and guaranteed sick leave by employer.

I would love to goto work " for personal fulfilment and to satisfy scientific curiosity".

Report AbuseReply